Your communication style is important to recognize and define, as it affects how people react to you and how they address your needs. In the workplace, it can be especially important to know how you are communicating (and thus how you are perceived) as a professional colleague. It is also important in personal relationships, in order to give and receive needs satisfaction.
The American Management Association breaks it down in this way:
1. “This is what I think.” (Assertive)
2. “This is what I think—you’re an idiot to think otherwise.” (Aggressive)
3. “This is what I think, but it’s probably not important to you.” (Passive)
When you have an aggressive communication style, other perceive you as disrespectful of alternate opinions (not good in the workplace!). This can lead to anger and resentment, especially if you are in a leadership position (this goes for managers, parents or partners!). When you are passive, others may think you are not committed because you either feel guilty about offering criticism, or blindly agree with all criticism pointed toward you. You end up being controlled by others in this way, which can make you feel resentful, uncooperative, or unfulfilled. In all cases, relationships cannot grow or move forward when only being pulled toward and satisfying one person’s needs.
Assertive is the most conductive for a healthy life, because it falls between these two. An assertive communication style allows you to express your own ideas and opinions, but also allows for respect of others’ ideas. This promotes an atmosphere of equality, positive progress, and cooperation.
Which communication style are you? Is it affecting your work and home life in a negative way? You can talk to Dr. Nora about it, and receive a free consultation on your first visit!
Dr. Nora
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