Why having a great relationship is so important for all of us?
We cherish love stories because they show us that it is possible to be perfectly loved. All around us people talk about romance, soul-mates and endless love…while being in normal, safe but dull relationships. Is this a collective dream?
What are we all looking for in a dream relationship?
Beyond all the conscious reasons we say in public: “he really supports me,” “she is caring and attentive,” “we have so much fun together,” is one hidden factor very difficult to put into words, or acknowledge.
As we all go through life developing into the full beings we need to be, there are some unfulfilled aspects left undone while we were growing up. Some childhood needs such as being accepted by our parents, being respected or fully appreciated were missing. Parents can be very busy, very unsuited to the task of parenting or simply lost in their own needs to recognize their children’s vital needs and those reactions leave a very deep mark. Other times, parents are really abusive and inflict untold humiliation and verbal abuse on their children.
So, why do we need the great relationship for?
Because in our imagination, we are now selecting the person who will exactly heal us from childhood needs and emotional wounds, and make us, finally, whole persons. This ideal person will give us the acceptance, adoration and care we need to complete the task of growing up. This is the hidden request, the one we don’t express, and don’t ask for but expect and wait for. Want to know more about healthy marriage?
Neil Warner
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