How to make your dreams a reality

Below each one of our resolutions to improve our lives, there is a deeply felt need. What happens when what you wish for is based on your relationship, and it will require some changes on the other side of it? In short, how do you make the other person change?

Of course, forceful change never works. In fact, the more you push for change, the more the other person will resist, right? As in this example:

“I have learned that the more I push for something, the more he pulls away from it. So, I have left projects of doing things together, even after a year of dating, in the back of my mind. Outwardly, I show him that the idea of moving in and sharing a life completely disinterests me now.

I wish he would be open to ideas and projects to do together and be willing to talk about things we wish for the future, even when they scare him, but it doesn’t happen…”

Sometimes, we project our dreams outside and hope that others will realize them, because we are insecure of our own power. The solution is really straightforward: we need to embrace the project, let our enthusiasm grow about it instead of hiding, and make this project part of our lives now and in the future.

And the other person? well, when we are not stopped by his/her resistance, and we get into our own power, the other person has a choice: either to look at his own interests and promote them, or drop out of your life. In short, owning your dreams makes you the owner of your own life…and forces you to find someone who can really share them.

Perhaps the old lesson: “you need to find your life’s purpose first and then find the people who can help you develop in that direction” continues being true?
3. “What I need is for my husband to let me know that he thinks my ideas and opinions are valid and well founded. Otherwise, he’s not treating me as his partner or his ally; he’s treating me as an enemy. He’s telling me that I don’t have the right to make decisions or have input.”

Neil Warner

Neil Warner

I’m the “relationship guru,” and my main focus is to increase the quality of love-based relationship experiences. In this ground-breaking guide I offer useful strategies on healing a difficult angry relationship with love and compassion. You don’t have to stay in an unhealthy relationship one more minute. Let us share our tools with you today.


  1. Neil, I find your writing very empowering. Everything I have read thus far points me back to myself, whether it is to discover the source of a problem or to discover the ability to fulfill a dream. My life is of my own making, for good or for bad.

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