A Loving Partner Never Intimidates You

Intimidation can happen to everyone in all walks of life, and it can occur in any age group. Being intimidated by someone is a form of being bullied or emotionally abused, and we can see it happening everywhere: in school, the workplace by co-workers or by the boss, in your own neighborhood, and in many other situations.

Some people are not even aware that they are being intimidated, simply because they are used to an asymmetrical relationship, where someone assumes the right to boss the other around. Others suffer intimidation on a regular basis and realize that it is making their life a constant misery. You might even be the one who is intimidating others, without realizing it!

People who are constantly intimidated go through many negative feelings. In order to be able to deal successfully with intimidation you first have to understand what intimidation really is, because it can come in many disguises:

• Using force to get what you want from others
• Threatening to or using power and control to get others to do what you want
• Getting others to believe they are less powerful than you
• Threatening others with your size or strength to get them to do what you want
• Holding punishments over their head, such as being fired, spanking or divorce
• Being quick tempered, angry or getting into a rage with someone to get them to do what you want
• Behaving in a manner that has others frightened to step up to you
• Using your wealth to get others to do what you want
• Using racial or sexual slurs to diminish others

If you are managing your relationships by intimidation, it is a kind of emotional abuse of others; one that leaves your inner circle attached to you by fear, not by love. Is this what you want?

Perhaps you learned to behave this way when you were growing up, but now it is not the best way to relate; you now know that it has a heavy price to pay. Your loved ones will complain that you emotionally abuse them, and they will be unable to see your good intentions, concealed as they are by the perceived abusive control.
If you are the one being intimidated, the first step to healing from this is to recognize the behavior. Stop yourself and think, “Am I letting this person intimidate me? Am I once again giving up something I want for what they want instead?” Once you realize this, you can begin to reverse the behaviors you’ve learned over the years, the behaviors that have kept you in a weaker position than you ever need to be.

Have you recognized your situation? Are you ready for it to stop?

Neil Warner

I’m the “relationship guru,” and my main focus is to increase the quality of love-based relationship experiences. In this ground-breaking guide I offer useful strategies on healing a difficult angry relationship with love and compassion. You don’t have to stay in an unhealthy relationship one more minute. Let us share our tools with you today.

Please tune in to our next post: How to Stop Your Partner’s Intimidation