Can Emotional Fitness Be Taught? Yes!

How do we teach children to manage their own emotions? Can this be done in school or better is left to the family?

Emotional education may not succeed as well in schools as in families, as seen in studies where curriculum about emotions has given the teachers a harder time of it than the students. While there are new projects that seek to facilitate learning about emotion in the classroom, the initial failure of the test reveals the lack of emotional lessons people have received in the home.

Families can educate their children to be emotionally savvy, but they can still run into problems. If they don’t succeed in proper training, the consequences are severe: people can’t connect emotionally, can’t use affectionate words to connect with others they love and their lives are impoverished by that.

Important lessons that need to be taught in the home are:

• Recognizing emotions in oneself and others,

• Understanding the causes and consequences of emotions,

• Labeling the full range of emotions,

• Expressing emotions appropriately in different contexts, and

• Regulating emotions effectively to foster relationships and achieve goals.

It is also important to educate children about the difference between feelings and behavior. Feelings are all acceptable, and all more or less unchangeable – you can’t stop yourself from feeling angry. However, behavior is completely voluntary and controllable – an important fact that can help children grow up aware of their behavior toward others and the effects behavior can have on any interpersonal relationship.

Also, because all feelings are natural and inherent in us, we must learn not to criticize, judge or demean others because of their emotions. This is extremely crucial in a child’s later relationships with partners and family. The lack of this lesson can be seen in relationship that end early because someone can’t commit, can’t let the other person have their opinions, or too often withdraws from a partner they feel is simply too “needy” and “over-emotional.”

Of course, these simple and straightforward subjects can be hard to teach your children if you  are also trying to come to terms with emotions in your adult life. If you need help learning to cope with emotion and be emotionally “fit,” or if you need tips on how to teach this to your children, you can visit Conflict Coach and schedule your own coaching session.