What are some rules that we recommend?

Well, for intense emotional issues and conflicts, there are two rules that we think are non-negotiable – you can’t go without them.

• Confrontation is by appointment only. Conflicts can occur at any time, we know. However, there is a time and a place for discussing problems and issues that are bothering us (i.e., McDonalds over lunch is not one of them). All parties should agree to briefly describe the problem, then make plans for when is a good time for all to talk. This can be as simple as saying, “I’d like to talk about what happened just now. Can we speak at home?”
• Everybody has the right to a time-out. Sometimes things get out of control when emotions like anger or fear escalate. Realize that every person has the right to feel overwhelmed, and the right to ask for a break to calm down and recollect. However, it also that person’s responsibility to make clear when you will reconvene (minutes or days later).

Need more ideas about coming up with family rules? It may help to divide into a few categories: rules that keep the conversation constructive, rules to handle disruptive emotions like anger, rules to improve communication, and how-to rules for reaching solutions that please both parties.

Here are some good examples of rules that pertain to the first category – maintaining constructive conflict:

• Confrontation by appointment only – we talked about this one. Just as a reminder, don’t make an appointment to sit down and talk right before bed, work or school.  There should be enough time to both talk out the issue and mentally unwind afterward.
• Optimal location – location has a lot to do with how constructive the confrontation is. A lot of interruptions will impede the flow of ideas, so pick a quiet place. Avoid the bedroom, which should stay associated with peace and rest. A good place to talk about issues is a calm, neutral, pleasing place. Moving while you talk can keep endorphins going at a nice pace, so a park is often a good place to go. If all else fails, phone conversations can remove a physical space that feels threatening.
• Start on a kind foot – Show your desire for mutual respect and peace by taking their hand, offering a gift or compliment, or anything that you feel is appropriate to diminish hostility. Just don’t go overboard into making it seem like a bribe! Your main objective is to show that you are opening the conversation on a sure ground by professing that you want to protect your relationship’s underlying values. In short: you are saying: we want to improve the good relationship we already have…

Need help creating rules for conflict in the other categories, like reaching workplace resolutions? Visit our conflict coach today to receive a free consultation. Coach Nora can send you on your way to a healthy relationship in no time at all!

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Is it possible to condition and program our brains the same way we would on a computer? The answer is yes! (And don’t worry, you don’t need high-tech skills to do it!) We are conditioning our brains every day, without realizing it. We do this when we use phrases and expressions to talk about ourselves. The little chatter in your head that says, “This I can do, this I can’t, this I’m good enough for, this I’m not,” etc. can make or break your self-esteem.

Why does this little voice have so much power? Because, if we analyze it, these opinions about ourselves don’t come from us. they come from years ago, when the first chatter was children, parents, and others evaluating us according to their standards. Gradually, their voices became the one we use to talk to ourselves! Think of it as living in a certain area for so long that you begin to pick up the same accent as the locals.

So, do you have a problem with speaking in public, because you are extremely self-conscious about your voice? Well, chances are that somewhere in your past, someone teased and judged you about your voice, and now that opinion has been taken up by your brain as true.

This is how smart your brain is: it can take up the smallest instances and fool you (and itself) into making them valid. However, if it’s smart enough to do this in the first place, it’s smart enough to reverse it as well, right? To be more confident about yourself, you need to become self-directed and watch carefully the things you say to yourself (i.e., the inner voice your brain is supplying you with). Are there lots of critical statements? Dismissing comments? Ironic appraisals and accusations about your own capacity?

Once you become aware of this internal negative chatter and where it can be coming from (an unreliable source), you can see how these comments can chip away at your self-esteem. Your communication processes (internal images, thoughts, feelings) need to screened and moderated, so that they can be transformed into a self-building stream of positive reinforcement.

Usually, we dismiss the power of this kind of self-programming. We think that we can’t teach our brain to think in new ways and break out of old routes of logic. If you have been raised as a person not confident about yourself at all, you will be attuned to those negative comments and validating them as real truths.

But you know what? Those “truths” are constructed anyway, so what is preventing you from feeding yourself (constructing) new positive comments?

I know a person who always says things to herself like “Hey, Queen Brilliant,” and “Hey, smarty pants,” and in those moments, she can feel how she becomes extremely happy! We all need to create that powerful state of esteem for ourselves so that excitement and significance are reinforced. That way, we don’t go back into old programmings, those feelings that we are not good at anything that someone, sometime ago, installed in our brains.

We need to program our brains the same way we would a personal computer. We should install the feelings we want, the images of ourselves we want, and the strategies to create the states we want to exist in. Similarly, we need to scour our systems (physical, mental, and emotional) for things that don’t belong and are only slowing us down! If we don’t, everything will be random and eccentric; we’ll never have the ability to access good feelings on cue, and they’ll never stick around.

I have had some wonderful results as I teach these new “programming” or conditioning techniques to my clients and readers. It’s not an instant process, because you actually have to reinforce the nerve cells in your brain while you reinforce your good behavior. However, just by teaching them that low self-esteem is never permanent, they are gaining better self-esteem and self-awareness , and feeling like completely new people because of it! It’s a great thing to see!

If you have low self-esteem and are struggling to find solutions, please contact Coach Nora today for a coaching session, where you’ll learn more about re-programming the negative messages that are keeping you miserable!

Nora Femenia is a well known coach, conflict solver and trainer, and CEO of Creative Conflict Resolutions, Inc. Visit her blog and signup free to be connected to her innovative conflict solutions, positive suggestions and life-changing coaching sessions, along with blog updates, news, and more! Visit http://conflictcoach.me now.

Technorati Tags: appreciation, attitude change, brain, critique, emotions, feelings, happiness, negative emotions, respect, self-awareness, Self-Esteem, understanding

So what about getting defensive? Does that go against the natural program of love-seeking? Surprisingly enough, no.

When couples fight over silly things and become defensive (even though they don’t need to), there is an underlying reason for it. We may not realize it during a fight, but we pick up on things and fight over them because we are each concerned about our role in the relationships we are in. When a partner comments about something small, the other may become defensive, scared that this means they are a “bad” partner or that their partner loves them less. Sounds silly, right? But we all do it!

Beyond that, there are also subconscious questions buzzing in our minds when we fight over small things, make them look bigger, or become defensive. In these altercations, what we’re really saying and asking each other is:

• Are you accessible when I reach out to you?
• Will you respond to my needs and requests?
• Are you engaged in our relationship?

In other words, “Will you be there for me when I need you?” This is the basic question of attachment. Deep down, we all have these insecurities, and it’s reflected in the way we interact with others, especially significant others. It’s almost like our brains are telling us, “Fight! Then you will know if they love you!”

What does this mean for couples in a strained relationship, or a relationship where the love is “dying”?

Are you and your partner trying to avoid conflict, thinking that this is the best way to keep a relationship “safe”? Think about what we just said about conflict. If, during conflict, our brains are using conflict to find out whether to other person is really committed, why would we give that up? Healthy conflict that respects boundaries can help couples air problems, reach out to one another, reveal true needs, and test their commitment to each other and the relationship. In other words, if you pretend there are no problems, how can you know whether the two of you are willing to heal it? A couple that never fights never learns to love each other more deeply.

Protect the love and commitment in your relationship by accepting conflict as a normal part of life, and determine to handle it in a healthy way. In many ways, fighting is just our brains’ way of re-connecting with other people!

If you need help learning how to fight to protect (not harm!) the love in your relationship, our Conflict Coach can help you do just that. Visit the Conflict Coach today to receive your free coaching session.

Neil Warner

I’m the “relationship guru,” and my main focus is to increase the quality of love-based relationship experiences. In this ground-breaking guide I offer useful strategies on healing a difficult angry relationship with love and compassion. You don’t have to stay in an unhealthy relationship one more minute. Let us share our tools with you today.

We can begin by you having a complimentary consultation (by clicking here), with a plan for action to change your life with new skills included. Just click this link and get started now!

Technorati Tags: appreciation, conflict, conflict resolution, emotions, feelings, fight, happiness, Healthy Marriage, healthy relationships, Relationships, respect, understanding

The end result is that happily married couples make explicit decisions about how to manage day to day activities. They realize that decisions, small or large, must be made in an environment of mutual respect and understanding. When conflict arises, whether it’s doing dishes or parenting techniques, the couple has learned how to communicate effectively.

What can impede this happy marriage is the circumstances of the marriage itself – when the couple got married, and how good their relationship was before they did.

For example, many couples rush into marriage while still in that early “idealized” state, where they are totally in love and neither has any faults. Studies show that divorce rates usually peak in the third year of marriage – a testament to the idea that only fools rush in. Idealized images of each other lead to idealized expectations. This is dangerous because the couple doesn’t give themselves time to find out how to solve conflict; they’d rather imagine that it doesn’t exist.

Another issue is the idea that moving in together will let you get to know one another better. In truth, this situation is tricky, and divorce rates are higher among those couples who lived together before marriage. The problem is that living together without marrying, especially if it’s mostly for money reasons or convenience, can lead a couple to think that they’re in a temporary situation.

Without a sense of “we’re married now, we have to make this work,” the couple tends to avoid negotiating conflict by avoiding long-term problems altogether.

Negotiating conflict and learning to recognize that men and women have different ways of handling conflict are skills that are invaluable to a happy marriage. However, when couples refuse to move out of the idealized stage and into the reality of conflict, they only hurt themselves.

Remember that having conflict in your relationship is normal – not a red flag. The only real thing that can keep the two of you from having a happy relationship is pretending that conflict doesn’t exist.

Neil Warner

I’m the “relationship guru,” and my main focus is to increase the quality of love-based relationship experiences. In this ground-breaking guide I offer useful strategies on healing a difficult angry relationship with love and compassion. You don’t have to stay in an unhealthy relationship one more minute. Let us share our tools with you today.

We can begin by you having a complimentary consultation, with a plan for action to change your life with new skills included. Just click this link and get started now!

Technorati Tags: appreciation, conflict, conflict management, conflict resolution, divorce, happiness, Healthy Marriage, healthy relationships, love, preparing for marriage, Relationships, romance, understanding

Our frame of thinking and general attitude on life determines how satisfied we will feel and how successful we will become. A person who has a positive expectation about life in general, will behave accepting what life offers as an endless learning opportunity. This person will function in a more relaxed, calm and efficient way than someone who is apprehensive and fearful, always looking for the negative event he needs to prevent from and protect from, and accepts naturally a degree of failure as a normal happenstance.

Of course, our frame of expectations towards life is dependent on our previous experiences. If we were protected, helped and nurtured, we will see the universe as a peaceful entity, ready to give us what we need or deserve… If we have been frustrated and grew up in a scarcity environment, then we will look at life with dread expecting any next setback to produce serious damage to our life.

Not only does our attitude affect us, it also affects those around us, in short our mood modifies our environment. All this explanation is to say that developing and keeping a positive outlook is essential if we wish to lead a positive and fulfilling life.

Once we realize how important it is to take care of a negative outlook in life, we need to find a way to change it. There are many ways in which we can develop a more positive mindset, if we want to. We can begin to change how we think and feel about many situations that we encounter in day-to-day living. Changing attitude and not slipping back into negative thinking will take time and serious efforts,  but eventually the new mindset will become second nature.

This is the process to change your mindset:

1. Be aware of your negative thoughts; and practice on a daily basis on becoming more and more aware. When you set a goal for yourself, focus on completing one task at a time and think only of a positive outcome for it and experience the positive feelings related to task completion. Probably there will be some doubts about your capacity to finish, but don’t get scared so easily and keep going.
2. Watch out when you begin conversations using negative comments, and don’t allow others around you to talk in those terms. Find the good aspect hidden in everything and any situation.
3. Praise others’ positive actions; be fast in recognizing the merits of tasks well done.
4. Whatever you are doing in your day-to-day life, keep watching out for negative thoughts that put your resolve in jeopardy. Find the silver lining in any challenge!
5. Be patient with setbacks; you have been thinking in a negative way for too long…if you catch yourself saying some negativity, ask yourself: What good result can come from this situation?

You will find over time that many areas of your life can be improved just by changing your mindset from a negative one to a positive. You will find that your self-esteem improves, you become more confident in being able to achieve your goals, you feel happier than before, and your relationships improve! These are just a few of the areas where you can transform your life by learning to behave from a more positive mindset and thus build up a more happy life!

.

Nora Femenia is a well known coach, conflict solver and trainer, and CEO of Creative Conflict Resolutions, Inc. Visit her blog and signup free to be connected to her innovative conflict solutions, positive suggestions and life-changing coaching sessions, along with blog updates, news, and more!

Are you ready to take action and feel happy, strong, and in control of your life?

Click Here For Your  Free 30 Minutes Coaching Session,

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We want to give you this first push towards happiness… so get your appointment today!

Technorati Tags: attitude change, conflict resolution, Emotional Abuse, emotions, feelings, happiness, happy life, isolation, loneliness, negative emotions, positive emotions, respect, Self-Esteem, understanding

Winning means imposing their view, convincing the other person of his wrong ways, and having finally the last word. Finally, it becomes a form of control, and a power struggle.

How often have we seen people approach conflict situations with an aggressive, confrontational style that only exacerbates the problem? For them, attacking is the only way to solve a difference! Probably the results are more confrontation and frustration, and less resolution.

If you need to confront someone at work, and this person doesn’t take honest feedback very well, then you have a double problem:

a) How to communicate your request in a way they can hear it properly?

b) How to manage their emotions so you don’t get into a useless confrontation?

When the need to attack people (or defend yourself) arises, it is because we have been conditioned to see confrontation as a battle. Too many movies (and music, and shows) support the “it’s my way or the highway” message. Unfortunately, spreading that around just tells people that it’s okay to forget how to cooperate and deal with others with respect.

So how do we turn that defense/attack mechanism off? Let’s use constructive communication and “owning the problem.”

These are the basic points:

• Address the problem rather than attacking the other person’s behavior (“This is happening…” rather than “You are…”)
• Describe actions and situations (“We are falling behind in our delivery time”) rather than judging the person,
• Be specific about occurrences (“It happened the last three consecutive Fridays”) rather than general patterns,
• Follow this line of discussion and avoid being side tracked;
• Keep saying that you want a two-way discussion.

Owning the problem means that you tell the situation from the impact it has on you.

When you need to confront a party that has done something that causes frustration, disappointment or any kind of displeasure for you, you can think of that displeasure as your problem because you are the one experiencing it.

Here is the way to do it:

Ask for a time when there is peace and quiet; so you can deal with the person without witness;

Then, express some appreciation at the beginning:

“I see the way you deliver x, and I’m very happy with what you do.”

Describe the impact of the problem:

In my experience, “delays on Fridays are causing this problem for my schedule”

Invite the other side to provide solutions.

Close the conversation by reminding both of you of the point agreed on:

“So, we have decided that if you see a problem which could cause a delay, your first task is to let me know so we can work on a solution together, right?”

This is the basis for a next, incoming conversation, if the agreement doesn’t hold, so you can use this phrase to begin the new conversation about this person not fulfilling his side. The tone of voice has to be calm, secure and definitive.

Neil Warner

I’m the “relationship guru,” and my main focus is to increase the quality of love-based relationship experiences. In this ground-breaking guide I offer useful strategies on healing a difficult angry relationship with love and compassion. You don’t have to stay in an unhealthy relationship one more minute. Let us share our tools with you today.

Technorati Tags: appreciation, attitude change, conflict, confrontation, critique, feelings, fight, healthy relationships, humiliation, reconciliation, resilience, respect, understanding

In this special time of the year, besides doing too many tasks together in order to make time to prepare for celebrations, we also have the opportunity to reflect on our deep values: love, companionship, respect for and appreciation of important people in our lives….

Here is a little story to invite us to focus on what we really cherish:

A Different Christmas Story

A week before Christmas, Dan came home from work late as usual. He found his 5-year-old son, Jack, waiting for him at the front door. After greeting him, his son nervously asked if he could ask him a question.
‘What is it’? Dan said, rather brusquely.
‘Daddy, how much do you earn in an hour?’
‘Why do you need to know that?’ Dan responded angrily.
‘I just need to know. Daddy, please tell me how much you make an hour?’
‘If you must know, I make $25 an hour.’
Oh,’ Jack replied, with his head down. and then:
‘Daddy, may I please borrow $10?’
Dan became exasperated, telling Jack to go straight to bed for wanting to waste money on some silly toy. The boy left quietly.
But when Dan had calmed down, he realized Jack never asked for money before. He wondered what he could have wanted it for. Dan went to the door of his son’s room and quietly asked his little boy if he was sleeping.
‘No daddy, I’m awake,’ replied Jack.
‘I’ve been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier’, said Dan. ‘It’s been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you.’
‘Here’s the $10.00 you asked for.’
Jack sat up, smiled, gave his father a hug and cried ‘Thank you daddy!’ Then he reached under his pillow and pulled out some crumpled up notes. Dan noticed the money and began to get angry again.
‘Why did you want money if you already had some?’ He protested.
But his son was counting the money, and took a moment before looking at his father again.
‘Because I didn’t have enough, but now I do’, the little boy replied.
‘Daddy, I have $25 now. Can I buy an hour of your time?’
‘Please come home early on Christmas Eve so I get to have dinner with you.’
Dan felt horrible. He hugged his son and asked for his forgiveness: ‘I have been so blind to the need we have to be together! I will do better from now on!’

This is just a reminder to all of you who work so hard. You are in serious danger of confusing income with love…Please, don’t let time go by without sharing it with those who really matter to you, you will not remember later when money was short, but your loved ones will remember when love was abundant!

Watch your opportunities to touch the people around you, because they depend on your love. Then, pass this message on…Your friends and family will thank you!

Neil Warner
Creative Conflict Resolutions
3415 Galt Ocean Drive, Fort Lauderdale, FL, 33308

Technorati Tags: appreciation, attitude change, conflict resolution, feelings, forgiveness, happiness, healthy relationships, loneliness, love, recognition, reconciliation, understanding

And sometimes, due to our upbringing, we understand “love” and “connection” and “appreciation” in way different ways….so different we can get confused when we think we know what makes our loved ones happy.

For instance, what is the meaning that “love” has for your boyfriend? Being loved could mean for him a different experience than yours….if you expect touching, and verbal expressions of love and frequent proximity, for him there could be another set of indicators of your love he is still waiting for. Perhaps leaving him the time and space to recover from work; or accepting that he is not in conditions to smile just now, without guilting or reproaching?

What does it mean to care for another person? First we must really “see through” the eyes of the other. Get out of our own ego driven needs and positions, and look, feel, experience life as the other person.

What is it like to be this person? What is he going through? Why? What does he need? What it that is really going on for this soul at a deeper level? What is behind his perspective in life? How can you really help him and relieve his deeper need – or help him reach his goals? In the same way you expect to be deeply understood, he is also operating from a deeper part of him that yearns to be seen and heard.

How can you let him know that ‘I GET YOU’? What do you need to do to show that you love him? Does he really agree with that? Love has different meanings for each one…it helps if you can tell him what is exactly that you need to feel loved. Perhaps a compliment a day? Perhaps seeing the other person finally initiating sex?

Here, the real key to make this behavior succeed is hidden. It’s not a trade; not an interchange of favors…Do your actions in a space of very clear energy; you have to enjoy making him happy, for you it has to be “cool,” happy and playful and humorous. While you do this gift, you have to enjoy being the best person you can be.

I appreciate Cloe Madanes’ (robinnsmadanescoaching.com) proposal of a 90 days challenge to show real love to your spouse. Does it takes so long to get in synch with his/her needs; to be more sensitive about what are the ways in which she feels loved?

Only after 90 days of this dedication you can conclude that your marriage is over; that there is no love left, and that your spouse doesn’t have what it takes to make you happy. Does it work? It’s an extraordinary effort, but the results are twofold: show that you are doing a serious job at recovering the love and connection of your marriage, and also that you are able to make someone deeply happy and understood. There is no better gift than this!

Neil Warner

I’m the “relationship guru,” and my main focus is to increase the quality of love-based relationship experiences. In this ground-breaking guide I offer useful strategies on healing a difficult angry relationship with love and compassion. You don’t have to stay in an unhealthy relationship one more minute. Let us share our tools with you today.

Technorati Tags: angry husband, appreciation, attitude change, emotions, feelings, Healthy Marriage, healthy relationships, loneliness, love, negative emotions, recognition, Relationships, respect, understanding

1) It’s Your Partner’s Job To Make You Happy.

Has to do with a basic contract in marriage by which we will try to solve reciprocal needs: his need for appreciation will be nurtured by her words, and her need for connection will be satisfied by his dedication.
Otherwise, which is the point in getting married? shouldn’t a marriage be “a society of mutual admiration”?

You bet it is; there is nothing so hurtful that to realize that your partner ignores the same needs that are motivating you to be loving, patient and keep trying to make the marriage a success. anger, frustration and finally contempt inundates a person who sees his honest focus on making the other person happy ignored or rejected.

2) It’s Your Own Job to Make You Happy; your partner is not here to meet all your needs: it is not your partner’s job to make you happy.

This is the response of a social generalized attitude declaring that we are isolated individuals even in the most intimate bond. Given that some demands may be impossible to fulfill, it’s better not to expect a partner to be personally responsible for understanding and satisfying your needs.

Basically, if you share this idea, then you accept that if he/she does not fulfill your needs of being appreciated, loved and connected, it doesn’t mean he/she doesn’t love you. There must be other ways in which this person is expressing his/her connection with you….even if
it is difficult for you to see it.

This position also explains that “First, however, you must be happy with yourself, before another can make you happy.Your partner should be here to grow and share with you.”

The only aspect that really is impossible to fulfill is the required point of having learned to be happy by ourselves…usually, when we find another person to love and marry, we are barely out of the emotional turbulence of our teen years, and still trying to get our act together…
Rarely we know how to love and appreciate who we are! How come then we will so advanced as to know how to be happy before marriage?

The whole adventure of growing up through marriage is the exercise of dealing with our own needs, acknowledge them, see how others are equally starved of love, connection and recognition and learn the humble task of negotiating reciprocal satisfaction of those needs. Now, can you see here the source of endless marital disputes, the hidden need for recognition from the same person we have chosen to love us for ever?

We can know that we have good qualities, but nothing is so strong and nurturing as to see those qualities recognized and valued by the people who are around us…. Going back to the first idea, there is nothing wrong with proposing a “society for mutual admiration”, right?

Neil Warner

I’m the “relationship guru,” and my main focus is to increase the quality of love-based relationship experiences. In this ground-breaking guide I offer useful strategies on healing a difficult angry relationship with love and compassion. You don’t have to stay in an unhealthy relationship one more minute. Let us share our tools with you today.

Technorati Tags: appreciation, conflict, connection, critique, feelings, frustration, healthy relationships, loneliness, love, Relationships, respect, understanding

He says nothing, but you know he is mad as hell. He is obviously sulking in front of you, and his attitude fills the room with a very negative vibe. For you, this silent anger is far more maddening and crazy than an overt attack…you would prefer to have him shouting his complains!

He is acting out the “angry blackmailer role,” a script that basically tells you without words: “Look how mad I am, because of what you did to me I have to be raving mad… all is your fault. Now figure out what you did wrong and how you’re going to make it up to me.”

So he sits in his magnificent silence, and you know you are being held hostage of his real or invented rage. You are forced now to guess what provoked his rage. How are you going to act without showing your own frustration? By being rational as hell, of course! When he says nothing, what can you say or do? Acting in a very cold way is your only way out:

Avoid getting to the conclusion that nothing can be done with this kind of blackmailer, and don’t walk away. Take a deep breath and think in this way:

• It is useless to expect him to tell what is wrong;
• It is worthless to ask them what is wrong, or tell him he needs to stop this childish behavior;
• It is counterproductive to appeal to peace and understanding: he is having fun!
• It is silly to take the blame and apologize for whatever he feels is wrong;
• It is useless to search for his deeper motivations now;

Get another deep breath and remember that you are dealing with an immature person who feels inadequate or powerless and who uses silent control as a means of getting you attached to him.

When you are able to focus on the “scared child aspect”, say something like:

“It looks like you’re angry right now, and I’ll be willing to discuss this situation with you as soon as you’re ready to talk about it,”

Then leave the room, and him alone.

Is important that you stick to this calm attitude, accepting their anger, even recognizing its cause if you know it:

“I’m clear that you are upset because I need to travel around your birthday and will not be here exactly that date, but I’m certainly willing to plan for a second birthday party and do what makes you happy then.”

His behavior doesn’t give you a lot of room: you need to accept the fact that you will have to make the first move most, if not all, of the times. This person is now in your life, and you can’t change that now, so send him the message that they can tell you what they’re angry about and you offer to hear them out without escalating the conflict with your own complaints.

Keeping calm, and treating his behavior as a communication problem that can be solved when he decides to share are the best rational  techniques that can change this situation. You need to avoid showing your frustration, shouting or telling about the challenges you encounter in the relationship.

Now the only way out is to inform your hubby in a calm way that you are inviting him to talk in his own time, as if you are not surprised, disappointed or repulsed by his acting out his anger. He can’t express his anger in any other way, so bear with it in a calm way.
And have clarity in what you are going to say: “You can be silent, and I can try to understand what is going on with you, but to go to any conclusion, you need to share with me what is the issue. If you can’t talk now, I will ask you in two hours….See you”

Neil Warner

I’m the “relationship guru,” and my main focus is to increase the quality of love-based relationship experiences. In this ground-breaking guide I offer useful strategies on healing a difficult angry relationship with love and compassion. You don’t have to stay in an unhealthy relationship one more minute. Let us share our tools with you today.

Technorati Tags: anger, angry husband, Cold Shoulder, conflict, negative emotions, rejection, resentment, Silence, understanding