a) Living life as it happens, in a naive way, adapting yourself to what life dishes out to you ( as the facts of family of origin; level of poverty/wealth; educational possibilities; personal health, etc), being resigned to your circumstances and seeing yourself incapable of changing anything.

b) Having a personal plan, designed by you and based on what you want from life.

Now, with so much psychological research, we get to know more about what constitutes a good life. We already know that we need some degree of peace and happiness (life stress managed and kept under control) in order to live healthy.

Because life stress and interpersonal conflict attack your life structure, they bring anxiety and reduce your life quality.

We also know that having negative emotions make you miserable, reducing your quality of life and diminishing happiness. A life full of conflict and stress is also a life full on medical and health incidents…they go together.

Knowing all this, even when our origins gave us bad health, unhappy family of origin and a lot of psychological anguish and suffering, it is now possible to make the strategic decision to focus on how to make your life happier.

First, you need to stop thinking that you have no power on the kind of life you are having, and begin accepting that you have some power on its quality. Taking responsibility for seeking to develop positive and nourishing interactions with others is the first one. What else can you do to enjoy a happier life?

You need to identify your needs, and make a plan to establish a source of satisfaction to each different need. If you have a need for security, the solution for it is different from the solution to the need for love and security, and so on…

You are also responsible for establishing links with people who can respect and appreciate you; and perhaps looking at th impact of negative people in your life, avoid connecting with the people who stop your growth.

As now your life design is in your own hands, you are responsible for making yourself grow: identify the areas where you need some push to develop further, towards a better education, a better job, or a better body, and follow the plan. Remember to keep growing, always.

Being in a better and happier place will make you more resistant to friction and conflict: learn to keep smiling while you continue your own way; no need to discuss with others to force them to change. You only can change yourself, and that is a large job!

In short: you will have to catch up in your own happy self-development, towards the person you want to be. Don’t let anyone challenge your own image of your good, purposeful life. And yes, this also means that you have to take your inner child to play!

Neil Warner

I’m the “relationship guru,” and my main focus is to increase the quality of love-based relationship experiences. In this ground-breaking guide I offer useful strategies on healing a difficult angry relationship with love and compassion. You don’t have to stay in an unhealthy relationship one more minute. Let us share our tools with you today, by buying the ebook with solutions for reducing stress in your life and having a happier love relationship…

Technorati Tags: anger, appreciation, conflict, confrontation, critique, Emotional Abuse, forgiveness, Healthy Marriage, healthy relationships, passive aggression, recognition, Relationships, respect, Self-Esteem

But, where is your own perspective here?

Is there a way to re-discover your life project? A simple, straightforward way to find it again? Well, yes! You need to start by checking your basic needs and how they are solved or unsolved just now.

• The most basic activity is to look at your human needs. Remember, we all have different needs of personal security; variety; love and connection, recognition and transcendence.

• Can you look at this list and identify where are you still starving? Can you make a list of your frustrated areas? Do you need security or love, variety or recognition? Where is your most important hunger?

• Having identified which areas are the most starved, decide if you are waiting for someone to satisfy them. If you are an adult, STOP! and make the commitment to solve your own needs by yourself.

• You need to understand that your first priority is not to get hurt, followed by the need to develop and grow with your needs satisfied.

• Wrestling the control over your needs satisfaction into your own hands, gives you your power back.

When you have recovered your own personal power, you can begin a conversation with anyone around you from a position of power, and not of subordination, as before.

You know how to find solutions to your needs, and this attitude gives you the most important life project: to make yourself happy!

From here on, your self-esteem is linked to the question:

How much do I care to listen and solve my own needs? How much do I provide security, variety and recognition to myself and to others?

Remember that: Once your own needs are solved, you can give to others….but not before.

Neil Warner

I’m the “relationship guru,” and my main focus is to increase the quality of love-based relationship experiences. In this ground-breaking guide I offer useful strategies on healing a difficult angry relationship with love and compassion. You don’t have to stay in an unhealthy relationship one more minute. Let us share our tools with you today.

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Technorati Tags: appreciation, attitude change, critique, frustration, happiness, recognition, Self-Esteem

It had a dirty secret….if the wife would have different takes on a situation she would have to sneak her views into a conversation, because her husband was the one supposed to do decision-making.

She could suggest, but the final decision (and credit) was not hers. Even if she had, God permit, some really good ideas…she needed to take care of her husband’s face by attributing such ideas to his creation.

And when she felt entitled to some decisions of her own? Several heavy weight traditions would discourage her. Church would preach submission to husbands; society would control her by ridicule. There was little a husband needed to do to “keep her in her place.’’

Even if we accept the benefits of sustaining this state of affairs, times have changed, and this hyerarchical marriage order has disappeared. Has it?

Sometimes I doubt it, because we can see that this male superiority marriage model persists. How? It has taken a different form now given that it’s the husband’s job to enforce her obedience, because society and church have abandoned preaching about wife’s submission to husbands.

It’s left in the hands of a husband to make his wife comply and obey, and to support his authority in the home. How does he do it? Lacking divine authority, there is the tool of emotional abuse to help him make his wife to feel inferior.

How? How come I’m linking persistent male authority with emotional abuse in marriage? Very simple: now, the way to have her humbled and in her place is to make her feel diminished and wrong, being always corrected because being criticized by a higher authority. I know a couple, now in their seventies…she has been all her life a stay-at-home wife and mother. He stills walks into the kitchen and announces to everyone: “she is always burning the food, what is she burning today?”

Is it true? Even if it is, what is the need to shame her in front of her relatives or friends? To prove male superiority, of course! After all those years of marriage, his instincts as the last word, judge and executioner are prevalent. Could he had learned to see her skills with more love and compassion? Could he appreciate more her positive aspects? Of course he could!

What he is doing is using snide comments to inflict public humiliation on her…leting her know who is still the boss. The harsh critiques, negative comments and complaints about her only role are the ways in which she is told to keep her place; if she protests, more abuse will be coming.

Why men do this? They don’t have any obvious need to continuously prove superiority…right? Or is it perhaps their insecurity that forces them to nag, criticize and demean the people who love them the most? So they can show who is the boss?

This attitude is really pathetic and has no place in a healthy marriage… How many divorces do you know, caused by her fatigue at being treated as a lesser, never equal partner?

If you married expecting that your partner would be the person accepting you warts and all; love you and admire you even beyond what you yourself know about your skills…then this is fraud. It means that you can’t trust the person you promised to love above others, because this person is reducing you to a lesser place below him.

Emotional abuse in marriage intent is to support male superiority, but ends up destroying the relationship. Are you in a marriage damaged by emotional abuse applied to support his dominant role? If so, how do you manage to keep your self-esteem alive?

Nora Femenia is a well known coach, conflict solver and trainer, and CEO of Creative Conflict Resolutions, Inc. Visit her blog and signup free to be connected to her innovative conflict solutions, positive suggestions and life-changing coaching sessions, along with blog updates, news, and more! Go now to http://www.creativeconflicts.com.

Technorati Tags: abuse, appreciation, Emotional Abuse, emotions, feelings, frustration, Healthy Marriage, humiliation, negative emotions, recognition, verbal abuse

And sometimes, due to our upbringing, we understand “love” and “connection” and “appreciation” in way different ways….so different we can get confused when we think we know what makes our loved ones happy.

For instance, what is the meaning that “love” has for your boyfriend? Being loved could mean for him a different experience than yours….if you expect touching, and verbal expressions of love and frequent proximity, for him there could be another set of indicators of your love he is still waiting for. Perhaps leaving him the time and space to recover from work; or accepting that he is not in conditions to smile just now, without guilting or reproaching?

What does it mean to care for another person? First we must really “see through” the eyes of the other. Get out of our own ego driven needs and positions, and look, feel, experience life as the other person.

What is it like to be this person? What is he going through? Why? What does he need? What it that is really going on for this soul at a deeper level? What is behind his perspective in life? How can you really help him and relieve his deeper need – or help him reach his goals? In the same way you expect to be deeply understood, he is also operating from a deeper part of him that yearns to be seen and heard.

How can you let him know that ‘I GET YOU’? What do you need to do to show that you love him? Does he really agree with that? Love has different meanings for each one…it helps if you can tell him what is exactly that you need to feel loved. Perhaps a compliment a day? Perhaps seeing the other person finally initiating sex?

Here, the real key to make this behavior succeed is hidden. It’s not a trade; not an interchange of favors…Do your actions in a space of very clear energy; you have to enjoy making him happy, for you it has to be “cool,” happy and playful and humorous. While you do this gift, you have to enjoy being the best person you can be.

I appreciate Cloe Madanes’ (robinnsmadanescoaching.com) proposal of a 90 days challenge to show real love to your spouse. Does it takes so long to get in synch with his/her needs; to be more sensitive about what are the ways in which she feels loved?

Only after 90 days of this dedication you can conclude that your marriage is over; that there is no love left, and that your spouse doesn’t have what it takes to make you happy. Does it work? It’s an extraordinary effort, but the results are twofold: show that you are doing a serious job at recovering the love and connection of your marriage, and also that you are able to make someone deeply happy and understood. There is no better gift than this!

Neil Warner

I’m the “relationship guru,” and my main focus is to increase the quality of love-based relationship experiences. In this ground-breaking guide I offer useful strategies on healing a difficult angry relationship with love and compassion. You don’t have to stay in an unhealthy relationship one more minute. Let us share our tools with you today.

Technorati Tags: angry husband, appreciation, attitude change, emotions, feelings, Healthy Marriage, healthy relationships, loneliness, love, negative emotions, recognition, Relationships, respect, understanding

To really know if you are in the healthy relationship necessary for your personal growth, we need to focus on the human needs we all have, and ask the fundamental question:

How are those needs satisfied through this relationship? How is the other person in your life aware of your needs, and aware of his/her role supporting your needs satisfaction?

We are proposing here that you see this partnership as a mutual agreement by which each other knows that the satisfaction of the needs of his/her partner are the essence of the relationship. If a spouse is not providing security and recognition to the other, where from this person will receive them? And how do you survive in a relationship, if you provide love, connection and recognition in a permanent way to your spouse, but don’t receive the same?

We call abuse when a person uses power to reduce the other person’s will to his will, creating a power asymmetry.

We can also call abuse when a person knows that his/her spouse’s basic satisfaction of her needs depends on him providing enough love, connection and recognition as to make her happy, but willingly denies to do so.

Want to know more? Here you have some needs, see if yours are here, and try to establish, from 0 to 5, how much satisfaction of each need are you receiving (and giving) today. Can you see the need to make some changes?

Basically they  are four important groups of human needs, to be only satisfied through the interaction with other human being:

—NEED FOR SECURITY AND CONSISTENCY

• The need for unconditional emotional support.
• The need for clear, honest and informative answers to questions about what affects you.
• The need for freedom from emotional and physical threat.
• The need for freedom from angry outburst and rage.

—NEED FOR VARIATION

• The need to be accepted when you want something different;
• The need to have your final decisions accepted.
• The need for encouragement and support when you make decisions  different from what others expected.
• The need to live free from undue criticism when experimenting.

—NEED FOR LOVE AND CONNECTION

• The need to be heard by the other and to be responded to with respect and acceptance.
• The need to receive a sincere apology for any jokes or actions you find offensive.
• The need to be respectfully asked rather than ordered.
• The need to have your work and your interests respected.

–NEED FOR RECOGNITION OF YOUR PERSON AS VALUABLE

• The need to for freedom from accusation, interrogation and blame.
• The need to have your own view, even if others have a different view.
• The need for basic good will from the others, regardless who you are.
• The need to have your feelings and experience acknowledged as real.

NOW is your time of reckoning….How well did you do? How many of those needs are in a state of starvation? How long ago did you receive (or give) your last compliment, or expression of sincere appreciation?

Perhaps now we can understand better the silent resentment that simmers in some relationships, when this covenant is not respected and we find people believing that they have no role whatsoever in promoting the happiness of their spouse by solving their deep needs.

If not them, it’s only a question of time that somebody else, by offering the unexpected compliment, could shake to the core this empty marital structure.

This is a brave way of evaluating a relationship, but please, ask yourself:

HOW WELL ARE MY DEEP NEEDS ACCEPTED AND NURTURED IN THIS RELATIONSHIP?

WHAT CAN I DO TO LEARN HOW TO PROVIDE SATISFACTION TO MY PARTNER’S NEEDS?

Nora Femenia is a well known coach, conflict solver and trainer, and CEO of Creative Conflict Resolutions, Inc. Visit her blog and signup free to be connected to her innovative conflict solutions, positive suggestions and life-changing coaching sessions, along with blog updates, news, and more! Go now to http://www.creativeconflicts.com.

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Technorati Tags: anger, appreciation, control, critique, Emotional Abuse, frustration, Healthy Marriage, healthy relationships, loneliness, recognition, resentment

1. We need to treat each other with respect:
It means being considerate about other people’s needs, views and situations. Always ask if this is a good time to talk.

2. Do not interrupt one another:
If you can focus your attention on what the other person says, you will finally get to know what are his/her concerns.

3. We can only change ourselves:
Acknowledging that trying to change others is not only not very loving, but is also impossible to do, so we don’t offer unsolicited advice.

4. We value and respect the right of others to choose:
Valuing others’ right to choose their own responses, and not to assume we can make their decisions for them.

5. We speak only for ourselves:
Instead of assuming we can speak for others, we only speak for ourselves and from our point of view. This saves a lot of unnecessary resentment and resistance towards us.

6. We speak but not too often or for too long
No need to fill the silence with compulsive talking…let the other develop his/her own thoughts at his own pace.

7. We challenge the behavior and not the person:
It means keeping a focus on the issue, the worrisome attitude or behavior, but removing the unnecessary personal labels and destructive comment.

8. We respect confidentiality:
To promote a feeling of trust, safety and in some situations, intimacy through valuing that which is important to another, and acknowledging and respecting their vulnerability in relation to an issue.

9. It is ok to make mistakes:
Mistakes are opportunities for learning, connection and insight rather than opportunities to condemn another – as if we are ourselves ‘perfect’. It means adopting a no-blame approach to difficult situations. Ask more questions instead of blaming the person.

10. Avoid words like “always” or “never”:
Because they assume judgement and evaluation of the other’s attitudes in a way that doesn’t leave any door open to change.

Do you think that you recognize these basic communication values? Of course you know them! And too many times you have wished that they could apply to your conversations with loved ones, right?

Well, it’s time to practice them, and see the results!

Neil Warner

I’m the “relationship guru,” and my main focus is to increase the quality of love-based relationship experiences. In this ground-breaking guide I offer useful strategies on healing a difficult angry relationship with love and compassion. You don’t have to stay in an unhealthy relationship one more minute. Let us share our tools with you today.

Technorati Tags: aggression, appreciation, conflict, confrontation, emotions, forgiveness, healthy relationships, listening, recognition, Relationships

And you can’t win, because whatever you do, something will not be perfect and you will fail the grade, and be found inferior. Did we choose a husband or a preceptor with demanding standards for everything? It looks like our loved one has transmogrified in the persecutory entity, always supervising and grading us.

This is not the marriage between equals we wanted!

You know, sometimes we women need to disengage from the notion that his behavior is our responsibility, because something we did or didn’t do is causing his anger. But probably 90% of the times, it will have to do with something inside himself, which makes him feel insecure or threatened…and is covered fast by attacking everything on you.

I know, I know, don’t roll your eyes….you already know how childish he can be, so what’s new? Well, the new thing is to ascribe the origin of his critique not to something you did, but to something inside him!

Like in:

“Oh, you are not happy with the way I just prepared your salad? Well, it being the same salad I do for you every day, what else inside you are you not happy with today?”

Of course, you don’t need to tell him exactly this, but you get the idea…what is needed here is a strong effort to detach yourself from automatically accepting guilt or responsibility for his moods, and inviting him to deal with them by himself, without resorting automatically to guilt you.

This is the first step in a healthy relationship: each one is the owner of his/her emotions, responsible for changing them if they are not of their liking, and should not use the loving partner as a reservoir for them.

Make this principle part of your shared life and you will see that things begin to improve! You will be building your self-confidence and your skills at knowing what part of the relationship dynamics is your responsibility and what is his…and you will nip emotionally abusive behaviors in the bud.

Nora Femenia is a well known coach, conflict solver and trainer, and CEO of Creative Conflict Resolutions, Inc. Visit her blog and signup free to be connected to her innovative conflict solutions, positive suggestions and life-changing coaching sessions, along with blog updates, news, and more! Go now to http://www.creativeconflicts.com.

Technorati Tags: abuse, angry husband, appreciation, attitude change, healthy relationships, recognition

Let’s assume that you found him too soon in your life, when you were still very young and learning what was your place in the world…and knew very little of the right way to treat human beings, especially when you say you love them. We all know the rules about loving behavior, right?

• show support, and be there for the loved one;
• say positive and appreciative things frequently (five for each one negative critique);
• be upfront when you have a disagreement and find a shared solution;
• disclose everything; share all kinds of personal information ;
• face each marriage challenge as part of a team, and commit to work together on solutions.

If little or nothing of this is happening, you have to find answers to basic questions, such as:

1.- How can you identify when he is damaging your marriage by his resentful and negative attitude?

2.- How can you stop him and make him fulfill his role of careful and loving husband?

3.- How do you repair yourself from the damages produced by his behavior on your self-esteem?

As easy it can be to identify areas of work, it is more difficult to find effective solutions to solve the challenges. What, really can you do now?

Today, the first thing to work on has to be your self-esteem. No solution can be implemented if you don’t feel clearly that it’s your right to have a healthy, supportive and emotionally satisfying marriage. If you are still confused have to choose between thinking that his behavior is your responsibility, therefore you are the guilty person; or asserting the right to be happy, then now you know that the first task is to strenghten your self-esteem.

After feeling more secure, more accepting of the wonderful person you are, only then you can begin to think on ways of sending the message to your hubby that you deserve better than lame excuses. You want good answers, real support, information sharing and the whole marriage package.

How can you improve your self-esteem? There are several ways to go about, here we will list soon some steps you can take immediately. Just now, remember that you can construct a powerful self-image only if you connect with yourself and the power of your dreams!

Nora Femenia is a well known coach, conflict solver and trainer, and CEO of Creative Conflict Resolutions, Inc. Visit her blog and signup free to be connected to her innovative conflict solutions, positive suggestions and life-changing coaching sessions, along with blog updates, news, and more! Go now to http://www.creativeconflicts.com.

Technorati Tags: attitude change, Healthy Marriage, loneliness, love, recognition, resilience, Self-Esteem

Unfortunately, harmony gets broken because we don’t know how to manage our daily conflicts without hurt. Nobody has taught us how to defend our needs managing the daily inevitable confrontations with grace and love.

Having open, harsh conflicts, and antagonizing your loved one will destroy bonds, create very stressful situations, and turn off any romance. Conflict seems to be the very stuff of life, bringing up all the most difficult emotions ­ anger, mistrust, resentment, loneliness and the saddest outcomes. It makes you sad, depressed, but also unhealthy.

A broken heart is not only a metaphor, but a reality: The physical consequences of aggression and fighting are felt in the whole body much longer after a strong discussion ends. High conflict situations can literally and really make your heart suffer from the elevated stress level.

One single, very mean fight can cause a long lasting damage to your vital love relationship!

Can you realize that it is best to learn to frame conflict in a different way? Forget your first reaction as “being attacked,” forget about defending yourself. Even when your brain screams at you about the need for self-defense….STOP!

Forget this knee-jerk reaction! Have a deep breath! If this is a conflict with a loved one, remember instead that generating a conflict is a way, for this person, of relating to you, a way of calling out for your support, connection and recognition. Learn to see only this search for connection underneath the confrontational words. If you deny this basic fact of life, you will be enmeshed in very nasty situations, escalating disputes in a cruel way. It is easy to win the logical battle, and pay the emotional price later of losing the war: to be left a “winner” without love or recognition!

There are endless conflict opportunities….Have you been in this same spot lately?

You are peacefully watching your favorite TV show when you are abruptly interrupted by your partner entering the room as if you were not present, and beginning to “click” the remote with no warning, leaving you to your normal behavior of storming out of the living room in stony silence. Did you wish then and there, that you knew some way of making him see the rudeness of his behavior without upsetting him? So some learning for the future could happen?

After how many of those “deadly combat situations,” do you see yourself becoming lonelier and more isolated than ever? Sometimes you won, only to feel that it was an empty victory, because you are not either more loved or respected. There is a pervasive belief that there are “no alternatives for us,” but to fight to win. As you know, if you can admit it, in human relationships by “winning over others,” you lose big time.

NOW, you are probably asking yourself:

Is there any other way to resolve conflicts other than to have a winner and a loser? Can anybody develop skills to do things differently? Can I get whatever I want or need, without fighting? Or, even better, can I get it with the other person’s cooperation and support?

Here is a list of basic indications to help you see conflict in another way, not as a win-lose competition, but as an invitation to follow a process…. Until now, you wanted to win in each confrontation, by convincing the other side how wrong he or she was, right? It didn’t work! Are you ready now to give up this way of thinking? Remember that a conflict is a challenge to explore what you need to know about your partner, about the relationship, and about yourself.

Here we go, the easy steps to clarify and manage your conflicts:

• Explore your feelings.

Why are you so upset? Explore your reaction to the event and see if you are responding to the present situation or reliving a past hurtful event. Has the same situation (getting rejected or ignored?) happened to you in the past? Does it look similar to the one that happened then and there? Perhaps you are reacting to that situation, and not the present one…. See if this issue is really about you and your significant other or you and someone from your past.

· Talk and Listen

As difficult as it can be, finding a constructive manner in which to air grievances provides an open and honest relationship. You need to have some agreement arrived at before there is a serious fight, where both of you say what to do. Are you going to schedule a time to talk? Or a chill out session? How about finding ways of calming anger? Establish a system by which you two agree to a fair fight, so you have the rules of engagement ready….and know what to do before hurting each other.

It is important to have an environment of respect where both can express how and why you feel a certain way and freely discuss your reactions.

Recommended steps for resolving conflict:

• Forget winning! Agree to reach a resolution.

Many of us take a fight-or-flight approach to conflict, sometimes only to make our point stick. You and your future partner are on the same side of the same team, which is difficult to remember when you are in a heated argument. Resolution is defined as both parties compromising to reach a solution. It is not about one person getting his way and the other person caving in to manipulation or feeling defeated.

• Identify what you want.

Be responsible for your own side and offer your information about your needs and wants. See what you and your partner can work out for a mutually satisfying resolution. Your partner cannot give you want you want if you don’t have the courage to ask for it.

• Generate options and possible solutions.

Be willing to back up your requests and desires with a solution that is mutually satisfactory. Sometimes we say no to a new way of doing things simply because we have not thought of an alternative. Back up your statement with a good argument that is reasonable, and see the reaction. Don’t force a solution that has not the complete approval of the other side…or you will be back at the issue in dispute very soon.

• Choose mutual action.

Resolving conflict does not mean to take on more responsibility simply because it is easier than arguing, but sometimes it happens in this way. A relationship is a partnership, a joint effort to shoulder your own part of the deal. If one person ends up being responsible for making the union work on every level, resentment will build up and it will not last. Sometimes men are less articulate, but it does not mean that you shy from a deep compromise to do your best to solve the issue.

• Leave a door open for evaluation of the outcome.

If the first solution doesn’t work, don’t be afraid to revisit the issue and make changes. Many times what seems doable in theory is flawed in reality. Do not chastise your partner, for that only will encourage avoidance in the future with other issues. What you need to build up is on the practice to share the discussion over the issue, the search for solutions and the agreement to do things in a different way.

• Reinforce the emotional aspect at each step.

Send messages of appreciation for the effort that the other side is doing. It is important to keep the conversation in a respectful and appreciative mood, and to say frequently that you are thankful for that. You are building now strategies of good communication that will last for ever!.

Looks like a good plan? Well, healthy relationships are based on emotional processes, where we need daily doses of support and appreciation….if only we could remember that every day!

Well, what you want now is a life with mastery over confrontations generated either by you or by others; a life with more control of the process and outcome of any discussion, not withstanding how difficult the issue can be. Are you now ready to learn from positive conflicts?

(Reproduced with permission from: http://ezinearticles.com/?Managing-Couple-Conflicts-With-Love-and-Grace-is-a-Survival-Skill!&id=466858)

Neil Warner

Technorati Tags: aggression, anger, broken heart, conflict, confrontation, control, feelings, harmony, healthy relationships, loneliness, recognition, Self-Esteem, support

Are you familiar or have you been in the receiving end of someone of the following “nice attitudes”?

1) The boss that takes full credit from the team’s work thus sabotaging employee advancement;
2) The boss keeps complete control over the project;
3) The boss restrict necessary information for the worker to do a good job;
4) Planning for meetings with the employee and showing up later or never;
5) Overriding the worker’s authority with his team;
6) Criticizing an employee in public, making him feel worthless;
7) Exploiting an employee’s particular talent;
8 ) Withholding employee recognition and praise;
9) Playing another worker against old time employee;
10) Micro-managing decisions which are in the employee power to do.

It’s not easy to survive in jobs where leadership is developing this dangerous attitude. You need a minimum of trust in your work environment to be able to concentrate day to day in what needs to be done according to your job description….why is it so difficult to find leaders you can trust?

A risky work environment is stressful, and you pay a high price for keeping a job in a team you have no confidence in. It can force you to get help for issues of anger management, or stress management, or develop by necessity new skills in understanding passive aggression in the work place. Whatever it takes, it needs to be done if you want to keep a measure of rationality doing a job under a boss that is a challenge in himself!

Neil Warner

I’m the “relationship guru,” and my main focus is to increase the quality of interpersonal experiences. In this ground-breaking guide I offer useful strategies on healing a difficult angry relationship with positive strategies. You don’t have to stay in a risky workplace relationship one more minute. Let us share our tools with you today. Get your own copy of the ebook “Passive Aggressive Workplace, here, and begin managing your environment better!

Technorati Tags: anger, backstabbing, critique, humiliation, passive aggressive boss, recognition