How can you take care of your emotional needs in a crisis?
When most of the people around us have managed to have organised lives, and some reasonable plan to provide themselves with security for their future, we tend to rest assured that we can control our destinies…And then, something happens in our environment that destroys this nice fantasy. We trust our environment to be stable, more or less predictable and to work under some rules, likes the ones that rule public transportation and energy provision. We can go home and feel protected because the environment around us is stable and predictable.
Is in this stable environment that we can develop our normal lives…and we trust it to behave normally. Emotionally, it means that we have confidence in the security of your lives, excepting abnormal and self-destructive choices like doing drugs, driving too fast or other risky behaviors.
What happens when the environment becomes risky, and doesn’t behave in the expected way? It kind of sweeps the rug from under our feet…In this blog, we talk about relationships, and today, after the Boston bombs I feel the need to connect the emotional insecurity produced by this attack and our relationships. Because emotional needs are always present, and we need security now.
Now that we need to face the insecurity of our environment, how does that affect the relationships we create? Are they refuge enough? How can we balance new feelings of insecurity with strengthening the secure refuge found in the connections with people we love?
Nobody is an island, and even islands are connected with the mainland at the bottom. Reinforcing your and mine relations with people we love means being more clear expressing our needs, more supportive of people around us that could be now confused or hurt, and resolving conflicting issues fast and with compassion.
In short, we all need a secure base built in the love and trust of people we keep around us…this is the only way to manage stress, insecurity and risk.