Emotionally Abusive Relationships – Stop them

Creating “Terms and Conditions” in an Emotionally Abusive Relationship

Healing from emotional abuse rarely starts with a change in the abuser – it starts with a change in the victim. You, as the victim, must affirm your need for a healthy relationship. Believe it or not, recognizing that there is a problem and taking steps to change that problem is huge progress. Many abusers continue to abuse simply because the victim fails to recognize or will not be honest about the recurring abuse. Efforts for change are achieved by laying the groundwork for new “terms and conditions” of the relationship – changes you want to see made, and rules of fair conduct and treatment.

In establishing these terms, it is important that you outline (preferably with your partner, but by yourself if necessary), very specifically, which attitudes and behaviors are offensive and aggressive. Create clear consequences for failure to stop those actions – similar to the consequences of violating a contract.

Set boundaries for yourself and your partner. Abuse, generally speaking, occurs out of disrespect for boundaries of self and freedom. It is up to you to draw the lines in your relationship and stop allowing this trespassing of your boundaries to occur. As a victim, you know best what hurts you and what doesn’t. Don’t back down at clearly defining the limit between what you can and can’t handle. Many times a sudden change in the victim’s attitude will perplex the abuser. Let your partner know that allow disrespect went unchallenged in the past, this is a new era in the relationship.

Be prepared for the fact that their cooperation may be given grudgingly at first, and realize that change in any relationship requires absolute commitment. It is a hard idea to come to terms with, but in advanced stages of abuse, change may be too late, despite your efforts. Your commitment to a healthy, respectful relationship may result in the termination of the abusive one. The important thing is that you stay committed to your cause and continue striving for the respect and love you deserve.

Neil Warner

Neil Warner

I'm the “relationship guru,” and my main focus is to increase the quality of love-based relationship experiences. In this ground-breaking guide I offer useful strategies on healing a difficult angry relationship with love and compassion. You don't have to stay in an unhealthy relationship one more minute. Let us share our tools with you today, get your ebook about healing emotional abuse now!.

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