Emotional Conflict produced by Mind Games?

Does a fight with your partner often result in them putting all the blame on you and your shortcomings?

The biggest temptation in a situation like this, as it drags on and on and you feel worse and worse, is to say “Yes, you’re right” and end the conversation. They walk away with a satisfied look and you finally have some space. But there’s something else they walk away with – your dignity.

“Yes-ing” others to get out of a conflict only reinforces the other person’s denial of your self-worth and your validity as a person. In their eyes, you become the weak punching bag, ready to absorb every blow.

How do you turn this kind of fight into a situation where you come out successful?

The best solution is to teach yourself to remember that you never have to agree. You can listen politely, giving them the respect that you would want, but at the end, you are under no obligation to agree, acquiesce, or approve. You have every right to say, “I hear you, and I understand that you’re upset, but I don’t agree.” Then leave the conversation at that. Don’t suffer your partner to lecture you or get angry at your establishment of equality.

Learn to recognize the “spin ploy” that many partners use. When you hit on a truth, like: “You’re overreacting,” they will turn on you and list your faults to distract you from the issue and their faults. Stay focused and do not play into this mind game.

One of the best consequences of identifying these mind games is that you stop spiraling into confusion when these tactics appear. Even if your partner maintains these tools and keeps trying to use them, they will no longer have their intended effect. Your partner no longer has the power to make you feel insignificant and stupid, because you are wise to those childish tricks.

Neil Warner

Neil Warner

I'm the “relationship guru,” and my main focus is to increase the quality of love-based relationship experiences. In this ground-breaking guide I offer useful strategies on healing a difficult angry relationship with love and compassion. You don't have to stay in an unhealthy relationship one more minute. Let us share our tools with you today, get your own copy of Healing Emotional Abuse now!

 

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